Today was a challenging writing session. Often, when people are asked why they do what they do, they can point to a single, defining moment: a high school teacher’s compliment might spark a lifelong passion for writing, or witnessing a parent’s Olympic triumph can inspire a love of basketball. But in my case, the path to self-discovery has many angles.
In the video above, I mentioned how the Covid era brought me back to writing and how much it has served me, yet I didn’t explain why writing was my choice. After all, there were many other things I could have done. So, why write?
The simple answer: I used to write a lot. During university, I’d fill ten pages every night. I’d buy 300-page notebooks, fill one each month, then throw it away. Part of what fueled this habit was a story about 13th-century monks who would compose beautiful poetry to God, read it aloud, then burn it. I remember wondering, “How do we even know it was beautiful?” But that’s another conversation.
I wrote plenty in high school, too, and dreamed of becoming a writer. By my third year of university, however, that dream faded as I poured my energy into my relationship and then my career. Then, when those vanished, I tried to reconnect with the parts of myself I’d neglected. I’ve learned that I feel most authentic when I integrate as many facets of my identity and past as possible.
This daily writing challenge is my effort to reconcile both my writing self and my video-creator self—roles I don’t believe are mutually exclusive. Through it, I can delve deeper into my inner world, discover words for things I’ve never fully articulated, and satisfy my drive to share and connect with others.
Part of Jennifer’s question that I haven’t addressed is about my desire to inspire people. Truthfully, I’m hesitant to claim that. I know what it’s like to be told I need to change, and I’m aware that the pronoun of choice for many influencers is “you”. I don’t want you to do or change anything; I accept you just as you are. Instead, I hope to connect with people who already share my values, rather than convincing anyone to adopt them. I’m not aiming to shape the world in my image, but rather to find those who resonate with what I’m saying and to learn alongside them as we co-create whatever experience emerges and feels right for us all.
Thanks for reading ❤️
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